Show Me the Money: PGA Career Earnings Roundup

Dumb and Dumber Money - PGA Career Earnings List

Viewing the PGA all-time money list is a quick and easy way to pass the time in your cubicle. It’s also a quick and easy way to become depressed and jump out your office window. If you’re upset with the insanely large dollar amounts listed below, stop bitching and just pick the correct Powerball numbers next time.

We all know Tiger is rich (#1; $110,061,012), and we all know Phil has won enough to last him a lifetime (#2, $79,243,310), but who else is out there?  Some may surprise you.

 

VIJAY SINGH

#3; $69,632,086

A consensus sleeper pick on the career earnings list, and an often overlooked all-time great, everyone loves VJ. What a boss with 34 total PGA tour win and almost $70mil made in earnings. Another example of a pro who took advantage of the early 2000’s, Vijay made $26.5mil of his total money in 3 seasons, ’03 to ’05, where he won 16 times. The guy is a straight up winner and with winnings come the moola. I feel like Vijay is the kind of guy who has an elevator in his mansion.

 

BRINY BAIRD

#115; $13,251,178

“If you ain’t first, you’re last” – Everyone knows the classic Talladega Nights line. Apparently everyone but Briny. You may not have heard of him, but Baird has the highest career earnings without a PGA tour win. He has played in a total of 365 events. Briny gives all of us little people hope, that if you get up to work on time every day, and do your job, you will still get a paycheck. Let’s be honest, he’s set for life. I wouldn’t mind making $13mil by being average in my profession.

 

RORY SABBATINI

#27; $29,462,394

Talk about getting a win when the time is right – Sabbatini hasn’t won since 2011, yet he is still top 30 in career earnings… How? Being really good and taking advantage of sub-par fields from ‘01-‘08. This South African born native has made the cut 62% of the time, which honestly isn’t that good for someone this high on the list. When the “Real Rory” was in bad ass mode, he preyed on the weak. In the final round of the 2005 Booz Allen Classic, Sabb was pissed at Ben Crane for slow pace of play. He took matters into his own hands and walked over to the next tee, leaving Crane in the dust to complete the hole alone. The sun never sets on a badass.

 

SERGIO GARCIA

#9; $41,575,571

Talk about the opposite of Sabbatini, Segio can’t get a win when the time is right (0 Major wins just to remind everyone), however, he still finds himself in the money. Sergio is a model of consistency and douchebaggery – 258 made cuts out of 299 career events (86%) means he is seeing green often.

However, this doesn’t make him any less of a tool bag on and off the course. Yeah he’s rich, but he’s essentially winning 10 conference finals without winning a Super Bowl. No one cares at the end of the day. Fuck you Sergio.

 

JOHN DALY

#150, $10,245,249

It’s hard to imagine (not really), but John Daly has easily blown through the $10mil he has made in the PGA. Cigarettes, booze, and nose candy add up quickly. Since John has gone cold turkey in 2008, he has 3 top 10 finishes and no wins. Get back on the sauce John – we miss you, your wallet misses you, and the strip clubs miss you.

 

JORDAN SPIETH (#40; $23,025,959) and RICKIE FOWLER (#41; $22,792,677)

If you are a true brofessional, you already know all about the Fowler Snapchat and the ragers that these two have recently had. Boats, chicks, beers, golf – they live a brofessional golfers fucking dream.  It is fitting that they have about the same amount of earnings, and hopefully they continue to rage and blow it at a decent clip so we as fans can enjoy. Crazy bastards. Can only imagine the amount of drugs and partying these two did in the Bahamas with that kind of capital. Smylie Kaufman still has a bit of work to do (#387; $2,083,148), but we hope to see him up here soon.

Feel shitty about your life yet? Just grab some beers and hit the links.

Check out the rest of the list here, and tell us what you think in the comments:

http://www.pgatour.com/stats/stat.014.html

 

 

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