Not a Day to Remember: Hating on Jason Day

Haters Guide to Jason Day

Jason Day sucks. Yeah that's right. I said it. 

You may think this article is written by some loser golfer who's jealous. Not a chance. I shot a 76 once so you all can go kick rocks. Compared to the other writers on this site, I'm Ben fucking Hogan. (Disclaimer: None of these comments have been verified by the Brofessional Golfer staff)

Seriously though, Jason Day is the worst. "Oh the great family man from down under"…suck my balls. I want a golfer who smokes, drinks, and fucks his way to a championship. Tiger Woods was winning every tournament, banging every hooker east and west of the Mississippi, AND trying to be a GODDAMN NAVY SEAL. Day can't even go out and get his son a decent haircut.

 

Get some scissors and cut the kid's hair already. 

Jason Day also suffers from vertigo. Contrary to popular belief, vertigo is when you get dizzy at random times, not when you get violently ill after hearing that shitty U2 song. Day probably listens to that song four times a week. 

"Hello, Hello"

"Hello, Hello"

Day isn't even cool enough to hang with "Dem Boyz"

Pictured: Dem Boyz

Pictured: Dem Boyz

These guys don't wanna be around Day and I don't blame them. Having a friend with a kid is normally a real buzzkill, then you throw a second kid in there and Jesus Christ nobody is gonna hang out with you. Much like a crossfitter talking about how much they do it, Day probably speaks about his vertigo any chance he gets. DUDE we get it, you don't feel well. Nobody here has felt 100% since like 1998, get over it already. 

Also, the blinking like a madman before every shot HAS to stop. What the hell is that all about? Don't even try to tell me it's part of his visualization techniques. Go vizualize yourself not doing that chief.

Congrats to the lamest #1 golfer the world has ever seen. I can't wait till Tiger comes back with a vengeance. 

Well shit. Looks like that's gonna be a while…

 

At the end of the Day, cash rules everything around us and Jason has earned his fair share on the PGA Career All Time Money List

 

Image via YouTube

 

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