Guide to Golfing After Work

Guide to Golfing After Work

There aren’t many things I enjoy more than sneaking out to the golf course after a long soul sucking day at the office. Everyone working the monotonous 9-5 grind can relate to that ethereal feeling of stepping foot outside of those grey office doors at 5:01 pm.

Freedom - Braveheart

But you don’t want to just waltz into post-work golf like a silly nanny. “Oh let me just saunter down to the ole’ public track and get nine holes in.” Slow down there, Sparky. There are some things you need to do to perfect the (dare I say) art of golfing after work:

 

Get a Good Stretch In

Bro, you’ve been sitting on your fat ass plucking away at that keyboard for the last five hours, you’re going to need to limber up. Nobody wants to pull a hammy swinging for the fences on that opening tee shot.

Tiger Woods Injury

Weekday twilight golf is not the arena for being taken off in a stretcher.

 

Happy Hour Mulligans Are Real

Be mentally prepared to slice the shit out of your first drive, let’s hope you’re playing partner has been informed of the “Happy Hour Mulligan” (BG patent pending). The "Happy Hour Mulligan" states that all bad tee shots within an hour of 5pm can be re-teed at no penalty. Just a few moments ago, you were staring into that computer screen counting down the minutes until closing time. Now, all of a sudden, you are outside with a cart full of cold beers enjoying those luscious green meadows. Scoring and rules need to be adjusted accordingly to maintain this level of euphoria.

 

All Bad Shots Are Your Bosses Fault

Office Space Boss Lumbergh

Don’t be afraid to yell out your bosses name after your approach on the second hole finds that pesky front bunker, “Damnit Craig! I’ll get the TPS Report to you tomorrow!” Or pull a page out of Brofessional Golfer’s 101 Excuses Heard on the Golf Course: “I only hooked that drive because I can’t stop thinking about the big presentation my boss is making me do tomorrow” (Excuse #96).

 

Always Have A Ball In Your Pocket

Late afternoon golf inevitably turns into evening golf, which has its risks and rewards. The course empties out and you can usually sneak in a few extra YOLO holes if you hustle. However, as the sun starts sinking past the tree line and your level of inebriation reaches ‘leaning on your club for support’ level; you may have a hard time finding your shanked Callaway. As previously stated, scoring and rules become less of a priority in the post-work golf game. You are just happy to be on the links rather than listening to your colleague Joe make his 50th cold call of the day using his same stupid script…HOW ARE YOU SO UPBEAT AND ENERGETIC AT 2:30 PM JOE?! Therefore, if you can’t find your ball within 2 minutes, it’s time to slide one out of the old pocket and onto the fairway and take a whack. Maybe invest in some multi-color balls to help with the search process, however even those bright sons of bitches won’t survive a trip into the thick fescue at dusk.

 

Choose Your Alcohol Wisely

It wouldn’t be an adequate Brofessional Golfer article if we didn’t discuss every golfer’s best friend: booze. Adjust your alcohol selection based on how your work week is going. If it’s a Thursday and you’ve already closed your weekly threshold in sales, go ahead and chug as many Nattys as fellow bro Smylie Kaufman would on a Saturday night.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A photo posted by BrofessionalGolfer.com (@brofessionalgolfer) on

 

 

 

 

 

 

A wiser choice might actually be to go with a mid to high alcohol percentage of craft beer. It may make more sense to bring beer that can pack a punch in a short amount of time given the fact that you are playing against the sun as well as your partner. We’ll call that one, player’s choice.

If you’ve been having a shit week at work and it’s only Tuesday…Hit the hard stuff. I personally recommend a drink that will go down easy ice cold on the first hole and warm on the last hole, Jameson and ginger is one that comes to mind.

 

I hope these tips will help you out next time you hit the links after work. If there is one thing I've learned from golfing after the daily grind, it's that even at your worst, golf is the perfect remedy to forget how soul sucking your day was. Now that you are ready to tackle golfing after work, have you ever thought of golfing before work?

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