Most Classic Golf Cheating Tactics

Cheating in Golf - Family Guy

"I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone's golf game. It's called an eraser." –Arnold Palmer

We’ve all played a round with an absolute cheat on the course. I’m not talking about the guy who takes a stroke here or there, maybe a breakfast ball or two; I’m talking about the dirt bag that will do anything to not have to buy beers on the 19th hole. To be fair, all of us bro golfers have had a moment where we let the scorecard get the better of us and we’ll cut that snowman down to a triple because you just ruined your round anyways, but that’s acceptable by the Brofessional Golfer’s Association. Let’s take a look at some classic cheating tactics utilized only the scummiest of scumbags consistently on the course.

 

“No one saw that”

You just piped a beautiful drive down the fairway on 9 and put your second shot over the back of the green down the slope. Everyone is spread out so you’re down there alone and you duff your first chip two feet in front of you. You think, “No one saw that, it was just a practice shot. Also this lie isn’t even fair on this angle.” While the not most malicious of cheating strategies, to say you shot a legitimate 43 that day is a complete lie and you know it.

 

The Foot Wedge

Golf Cheat Tactic - Foot Wedge

The foot wedge has been employed for decades by the casual golfer and for some, it’s the best club in the bag. We’ve all been in this scenario, “It’s early in the season and these conditions suck, I’ll just give my ball a love tap just to get out of this divot.” And while this is totally acceptable, we’ve also all played with the asshole that kicks it out of the woods like fucking Messi and into the center of the fairway. “I’m not hitting it out there, what if there’s a rock under my ball? I’m not scratching my irons!” If that’s the case dude, “I think I… yeah I pared that one.”

 

Don’t give your score for a few holes

While not commonly used, it is one of the sneakiest and most effective moves that a cheater will take advantage of, if possible.  Let’s say you’re on number 10 and you ask that slime ball, “Hey what’d you get back on 8?” They pause, “Umm, one to the right, two on the edge, 3, 4. Yeah I pared that one.” Okay man, you forgot the shot you hit out the woods, the chip you duffed and the 3 putt. If you pared that hole, then I’m 10 under.

 

The Switcheroo

Ah, the ol’ switcheroo. This is when they hit their new Titleist into the woods on number 2 and come out with a beat up Srixon because no one has any idea what ball you’re playing. “Yeah it’s right on the edge of the trees over here, must have hit a branch or something!” While you and I have both done this from time to time it’s nothing to be proud of, asshole.

 

Ball Down the Leg

The lowest of lowlife moves and very tough to execute effectively. This can only be done by the seasoned cheater and may very well be the number one scumbag move on the golf course. And although the Brofessional Golf Association accepts mild-mannered cheat tactics from time to time, you should probably jump off a bridge if you are using this to shave a few strokes. C’mon man…

Know any other classic cheating tactics that we missed? Let us know in the comments:

 

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One Response to “Most Classic Golf Cheating Tactics

  • Anonymous
    7 months ago

    The "I Need To Identify My Ball" trick.

    Ball is buried in the grass. Player picks it up. "Yep. That's mine". Carefully replaces it. Boom! Perfect lie. (A-hole!)

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