101 Excuses Heard on the Golf Course

101 Excuses on Golf Course - Caddyshack

The Brofessional Golfer staff put together the best excuses heard on the golf course. We wanted to give our readers some ammunition for every time a ball is miss-hit on the golf course. Remember, it's never your fault when you shank a golf shot:

1. I haven't stretched yet

2. I'm still sore from bench pressing the other day

3. I usually don't walk 18 holes

4. I haven't played in a few weeks

5. I haven't been to the driving range in ages

6. This is my first time playing this course

7. I'm used to playing on nicer courses

8. This course is in awful shape

9. The starter was watching me like a hawk

10. I didn't get to take any practice putts before the round

11. Why are we playing so early?

12. I'm still angry about how expensive this course is

13. It's too wet out here

14. It's too dry out here

15. The tee box is all dirt

16. I'm not used to putting on aerated greens

17. The greens are tough, looks like they break but they don't

18. The fairways are too narrow

19. I teed it up too high

20. I felt rushed

21. My ball was half on rough, half on fairway

22. The rough is too thick

23. I didn't know there was a bunker over there

24. The bunker is all dirt

25. The bunker is too sandy

26. I took too many practice swings

27. Hit my 9 iron, thought it was my 6 iron

28. Hit my 6 iron, thought it was my 9 iron

29. I didn't think I could hit that club that far

30. Still getting a feel for this new club

31. I just re-shafted all my clubs

32. Need to re-grip this club

33. These clubs are so old

34. I'm in between clubs

35. My practice swing was perfect, I don't know what happened

36. I tried putting backspin on it

37. The wind blew in my back swing

38. The wind took my ball

39. A car honked during my back swing

40. He farted during my back swing

41. Someone yelled "fore!" during my back swing

42. I thought the pin was in the front

43. I thought the green was softer

44. My shadow moved over my ball during my swing

45. It would've been perfect if it didn't hit the cart path

46. My ball was in a divot

47. My ball is scuffed up

48. I need to wash my ball

49. I'm playing a women's ball

50. I've never played this golf ball brand before

51. I didn't know there was water over there

52. I thought this was a dogleg right

53. Who designed this course? Every hole is uphill

54. I didn't know this was a par 5

55. I didn't realize how tall that tree was

56. I hit a tree branch during my back swing

57. There was an acorn under my ball that I didn't see

58. The group in front is too slow

59. The group behind us is too fast

60. It's getting dark out here

61. It's too cold out here

62. It's too hot out here

63. My hands are sweaty

64. This golf glove is too worn

65. I usually don't wear sunglasses when I play

66. The sun was in my eyes

67. This polo is too tight

68. These golf shoes make my feet sore

69. My shoe was untied

70. My fly was down

71. Your bad shot got in my head

72. I have to take a leak

73. I have to take a dump

74. Your ball marker through me off

75. A fly landed on my ball as I made contact

76. I didn't want to hit that goose

77. It would've been a good shot if it didn't hit that goose

78. My ball had goose shit on it

79. It would've been a good shot if it didn't hit the "No Carts" sign

80. I didn't want to get stung by that bee

81. I thought I saw a gator in the water

82. Did you hear that woodpecker?

83. I ran over a squirrel on the way here and can't stop thinking about it

84. I forgot to have breakfast this morning

85. I had a big breakfast this morning

86. That Applebees burger I ate at lunch gave me heartburn

87. I'm too hung over

88. I'm too drunk right now

89. I'm too sober right now

90. I drank that last beer too fast

91. My girlfriend missed her period this morning

92. I broke up with my girlfriend last night

93. I can't stop thinking about how hot the cart girl is

94. I was trying to impress the cart girl with that swing

95. It's been a long week at work

96. I have a big presentation at work tomorrow

97. I need a new mattress, my back is sore

98. I shouldn't have inhaled that cigar

99. I was thinking about who I should vote for

100. I just took a swig of Jack Daniels

101. I was laughing at something I read on Brofessional Golfer


Bros, we realize there are infinite excuses that can be used on the golf course. Add more excuses in the column box below. If they're good, we'll use them in our upcoming column: 101 More Excuses Heard on the Golf Course

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